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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24023383">you don't have to say I love you to say I love you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticMob/pseuds/AutisticMob'>AutisticMob</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Killugon Week 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background Relationships, Birthday, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Party, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, Family Fluff, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Reunions, Surprise Party, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:55:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24023383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticMob/pseuds/AutisticMob</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 3 of Killugon Week.</p>
<p>Prompt(s): Gon's Birthday Celebration</p>
<p>Killua wants Gon to have the birthday he never got, so he plans a surprise party for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Killugon Week 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725532</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you don't have to say I love you to say I love you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I should add a small warning for mentions of one character's weight loss related to depression.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gon’s birthday was May 5th. Killua had committed the date to memory, especially considering the fact that his parents had never bothered to celebrate <i>his</i> birthday. </p>
<p>Killua’s problem, however, was that he didn’t know what to get Gon for his birthday. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what he’d be into, in fact, he knew exactly what Gon liked. </p>
<p>But he wanted it to be sincere. </p>
<p>Killua groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, looking over at Leorio. </p>
<p>“Leorioooooo,” he whined.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Leorio glanced up from his phone. </p>
<p>Killua sighed and kicked his feet against the bottom of the chair. “What should I get Gon for his birthday?”</p>
<p>“What do you think he’d like?” Leorio questioned. “Kurapika and I already bought gifts. We can’t tell you, ‘cause we want it to be a secret, but if you tell us what you get, we can tell you whether or not we have that thing.”</p>
<p>Killua leaned back against the chair and huffed, folding his arms across his chest. “I dunno. I...I wanna give him something sincere, y’know?”</p>
<p>Leorio laughed. “When you like a guy, you should get him something that shows you like him.”</p>
<p>Heat blossomed into Killua’s cheeks and crept up into his ears. “Huh?! I...I don’t like him like that!”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to hide, Killua. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”</p>
<p>Killua cast his gaze towards the floor, round cheeks still flushed. “What should I do, then? What did you do for Kurapika?” </p>
<p>Leorio rubbed at the back of his neck as he took a long sip from his coffee. “Honestly? I just asked him out, no bullshit. But I think that only worked because that’s just the kind of person Kurapika is.”</p>
<p>“That type of thing would never work with Gon. Besides…” he paused, “I think I’d die of embarrassment from that…” Killua mumbled under his breath. </p>
<p>Several more moments passed with Killua mulling over gift ideas, both romantic and not, all of them rejected before the court of his mind for being too lame or cheesy or boring. </p>
<p>“Hey. I have an idea that isn’t complete shit,” Killua said. </p>
<p>“Oh?” </p>
<p>“What if we threw a surprise party? I think he’d really appreciate something like that, and it’d be memorable.”</p>
<p>Leorio smiled. “That’s a really good idea, actually. Kurapika and I had a few plans for a regular party, but your idea is much better.”</p>
<p>“Did you already tell him?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, we did, sorry. Like I said, we planned to have a regular party with him, so we told him about it and he agreed to the time, date, and place Kurapika and I agreed on,” Leorio said with a small sigh. </p>
<p>“It’s fine. You can just tell him to come to the place where you’re hosting the party and claim you’re late. He’ll show up, and we’ll surprise him.” A smug, catlike grin drew itself across Killua’s face. </p>
<p>Leorio couldn’t keep from smiling either, shaking his head at Killua’s adorable suggestion. “It’s a good idea.” He had no doubt that Gon would be over the moon with happiness. </p>
<p>“Poggers, okay. I’m gonna ask some of our friends if they want to come. It’s gonna be awesome!” Killua pumped his fist in the air in excitement. </p>
<p>“Kurapika and I will handle all the executive stuff, but I need to know how many people will be coming so we don’t end up eating cake for a month.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, I’ll handle it gramps,” Killua muttered as he slid off the couch and disappeared into the bedroom. The rest of his day was spent calling almost everyone both he and Gon had become friends with, inviting them to the surprise party that <i>he’d</i> planned. </p>
<p>It felt good to have a say in something, for once. It was his. He came up with the idea all on his own, and Leorio and Kurapika were actually going to do it. Gon was going to be surprised, and Killua would be happy because Gon was. </p>
<p>But life had a way of making things hard for him. After five days, he still didn’t have anyone else to be a guest at Gon’s surprise party. Everyone who he’d contacted either couldn’t come or their plans to show up had somehow fallen through, so he was no closer to having a massive celebration with all their friends than he had been the week prior. </p>
<p>Leorio noticed, of course, like he always did. It was easy for him to tell when Killua was upset, as he spent the entire day sulking around like a kicked puppy. </p>
<p>“Hey, Killua. Is everything okay?” Leorio took a seat beside an irritated Killua on the couch. </p>
<p>“No. Everyone I invited to Gon’s party can’t come. The party is in three days, and it’s just going to be us four,” Killua huffed. </p>
<p>Leorio gave an understanding smile. “I see. Still, it was a really nice gesture to even try.”</p>
<p>Killua looked about to throw his Switch on the floor. “It doesn’t matter how nice of a gesture it was. I wanted everyone to be able to celebrate...it’s what Gon deserves, especially after everything he’s been through. I just want him to have a good birthday.”</p>
<p>“Killua, you know Gon is simple. He’s easy to please. I’m sure he’ll be happy regardless of what happens. It’s the thought that counts.”</p>
<p>Killua shrugged. “I guess. I just wanted him to be able to see all his friends again. I thought maybe...maybe he’d feel better if he got to see the people he likes.” He blinked away tears as he stared down at the warping screen of his game, desperate to keep from embarrassing himself in front of Leorio. </p>
<p>“Gon likes us. He just...needs time, I think. He’s been through a lot, and he’s just a kid.”</p>
<p>He and Killua were the same. </p>
<p>“I know,” Killua mumbled, swiping his sleeve across his face as he sniffled a bit and chewed his lip to keep from crying. </p>
<p>“You have too, so cut youself some slack. You’re way too hard on yourself sometimes, and it’s okay to not be perfect,” Leorio reassured. </p>
<p>Killua leaned against his arm with a silent sob, his small hands trembling as he clutched his Switch with a white-knuckled grip. </p>
<p>“Thanks, old man.”</p>
<p>Leorio chuckled. He couldn’t bring himself to be mad at Killua. “You’re welcome.”</p>
<p><br/>
</p><hr/>
<p><br/>
</p>
<p>When the day of the party arrived, Killua, Leorio, and Kurapika waited in the apartment with bated breath for Gon to show up. It would be the first time in months that Killua had seen Gon, and anxiety churned in his stomach like a stone pushed by a river. </p>
<p>As Killua waited by the door—he was going to be the first one to surprise Gon—he clutched his phone in his sweaty palm, awaiting Gon’s texts with giddy anticipation. </p>
<p>The phone buzzed in his hand, and his eyes shot down to the message preview displayed on the screen. </p>
<p>‘hey! i just left the airport! im on my way to the address you gave me.’</p>
<p>Killua snickered. ‘Okay cool. Leorio Kurapika and I are running late, sorry. Were doing some last-minute party shopping.’</p>
<p>‘its ok! im already on the way unfortunately and im too nervous to ask the taxi driver to stop.’</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but laugh at that. Gon was always so cute. </p>
<p>‘Thats fine. Leorio told me he left the door open for you, so you can just go in. Leaving the store now, so we should be there in like 15 mins.’</p>
<p>‘ok! im almost there so ill just let myself in and wait for you (-: im excited to finally see everyone again.’</p>
<p>Killua’s heart jumped into his throat. He hadn’t seen Gon in months. He wasn’t sure what it would be like to hug him again, to smell the gentle, salty breeze of Whale Island clinging to his skin, to see his cute round face and his smile as bright as the sun. </p>
<p>It was all so overwhelming, and he thought he might cry. </p>
<p>But he held it in for ten more painful minutes, standing just beside the door and listening for the sound of shoes against the floor outside. </p>
<p>As soon as he heard it, a smile spread across his face. The blood in his ears raced so loud that the sound of the door creaking open became inaudible. </p>
<p>Gon stepped inside, shrouded in the darkness of the apartment he believed to be empty. As soon as he reached for the light switch, Killua reached up and turned it on, appearing from his hiding place with outstretched arms. </p>
<p>“K-Killua?” Gon gasped. </p>
<p>“Hey!” Leorio stepped out from behind the wall in the kitchen, and Kurapika appeared from the bedroom with a small smile and a wave. </p>
<p>“Wh...Leorio? Kurapika?”</p>
<p>“Surprise!” Killua chirped. </p>
<p>Gon stared wide-eyed at him for several seconds before glancing around the apartment at the decorations that covered the walls, chairs, tables, and even part of the TV. </p>
<p>“You guys did all this for me?” Gon asked as he took off his shoes and placed them beside the door.</p>
<p>Leorio nodded and gave a thumbs up, and Killua grinned in response. “Yeah! I...kinda wanted to invite all our friends, but everyone couldn’t come for some reason or another.”</p>
<p>Gon shrugged off his bag and tossed it on the carpeted floor next to his shoes. “That’s okay. I’m fine spending it with you four.”</p>
<p>“Four?” Kurapika questioned. </p>
<p>“Oh, is Alluka not around?” Gon cocked his head. </p>
<p>“She wanted to come, but she had a mandatory school trip. I promised to save her some cake though, so don’t eat it all!” Killua warned. </p>
<p>Gon laughed. “I’ll make sure to save her a piece.”</p>
<p>“Welcome back, Gon. It’s great to see you again.” Kurapika took a few steps towards him. </p>
<p>“Ah, Kurapika! It’s been a long time!” Gon ran and wrapped his arms around Kurapika’s waist. </p>
<p>“You lost some weight,” he said, looking up at him. </p>
<p>Kurapika’s expression shifted to one of discomfort, and Leorio stepped in to tear down the curtain of awkwardness. </p>
<p>“Gon! Can you give me a hug too?” Leorio asked as he opened his arms. </p>
<p>“Yea!” He let go of Kurapika and ran to Leorio, jumping into his open arms. He wrapped his arms around Leorio’s neck as he hugged him. </p>
<p>“I missed you!” Gon chirped. </p>
<p>“I missed you too, buddy. It’s been way too long!” Leorio said as he held Gon close. He was more or less Leorio’s younger brother at this point, so getting to hug him again flooded his entire body with a soft warmth of fraternal love. </p>
<p>“You’re so grown up now, look at you,” Leorio said. </p>
<p>Gon laughed in response and rested his head on Leorio’s shoulder. “I’m so excited to be back.”</p>
<p>“You should say hi to Killua. He’s the one who planned the surprise ,” Leorio said as he placed Gon back on the floor. </p>
<p>Gon looked over his shoulder at Killua, taken aback by his kindness. “You came up with this idea?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I wanted to surprise you. I figured it’d be nicer than a regular party.”</p>
<p>Gon grinned and hugged Killua.</p>
<p>Heat crept into Killua’s cheeks, and he hugged Gon back as best he could. The feeling of Gon’s gentle hands against his shirt sent sparks firing off through the nerves down his back, and he thought he might cry again. </p>
<p>“Thanks. It’s really nice.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>Gon smiled, and Killua thought his heart was going to break through his chest and Gon would know how he really felt. </p>
<p>“Yea!”</p>
<p>“What should we do first?” Leorio asked. </p>
<p>“Hmm...this is gonna be weird, but let’s eat cake. I haven’t eaten since I left Whale Island, since I get sick if I eat on planes.”</p>
<p>Leorio laughed and nodded. “We can do cake first.”</p>
<p>“Yay! Time for cake!” Gon couldn’t help but bounce up and down at the thought. He knew Leorio and Kurapika made a good choice regardless of what they got. Leorio and Kurapika both removed the cake from the fridge and lit the candles. They sang happy birthday to Gon whilst Killua watched. His singing voice made him much too dysphoric to join in, but that was fine. There was never any judgement under Leorio and Kurapika’s roof. </p>
<p>After everyone ate a slice of the cake, they moved on to the presents. Kurapika and Leorio had pulled together a bit of extra money and bought Gon a better phone, now that he was fifteen and more mature. </p>
<p>Killua bought him a frog-themed wallet. It was pretty cute, and Gon appreciated all of his friends’ kindness. </p>
<p>As Killua and Gon sat on the couch, Gon watching videos on his new phone and Killua playing Animal Crossing on his Switch, Killua began a hushed conversation. “There’s something else I wanted to give you, Gon…” he started. </p>
<p>“Hm?” Gon looked up from his phone at Killua, an innocent smile on his cute, round face. </p>
<p>Killua’s hands clenched into fists, his nails digging into the calloused skin of his palms. And with that, he leaned in and pressed his lips against Gon’s cheek, warm and dotted with freckles that were just barely visible against his dark brown skin. </p>
<p>“What was that for?” Gon asked, his bright smile so wide that his cheeks dimpled with a glowing, ethereal happiness. </p>
<p>“I...h-happy birthday, idiot.”</p>
<p>Gon laughed and rested his head against Killua’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“Thanks. It’s the best birthday I’ve had in years.”</p>
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